Geneva, Switzerland
Diplomat's Waiting Room
"Where world peace is negotiated over extremely expensive coffee"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing the Jet d'Eau spraying water skyward with alarming persistence, flanked by two gold bars representing the vault contents of institutions that decline to confirm their existence, beneath a motto scroll reading 'Discretion Guaranteed, Receipts Not Itemised'.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★★☆ 4/5
"Beautiful lake, stunning views of Mont Blanc, and I am still recovering from paying 28 francs for a ham sandwich near the Jet d'Eau. Every second building seems to be either a bank vault or an international organisation I've never heard of. Lovely to walk around but I felt personally poorer just breathing the air here."— Gary Fenwick, Doncaster
Property Listing
Nestled beside a pristine alpine lake, this globally-renowned city offers unrivalled access to the United Nations, the Red Cross, and roughly 200 private banks who will never tell you their names. Perfect for the discerning buyer who considers a one-bedroom flat a six-figure starter investment.
Twinned With
Monaco — Both towns exist primarily to make ordinary tourists feel quietly ashamed of their bank balance.
Supporting Evidence
Geneva's iconic Jet d'Eau fountain shoots water 140 metres into the air, originally created by accident in 1886 as a safety valve for a hydraulic power network before someone decided it looked nice enough to keep.