Johannesburg, South Africa
Jozi-berg of Whimsy
"Gold Reef City: Where Every Wall Has Both Art and Barbed Wire"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield quartered by electric fencing, bearing a golden mine headgear rampant on one side and a generator on the other, both equally load-bearing to daily existence. The crest features a jacaranda tree in bloom, purple against a sky that is either brilliantly clear or thick with highveld storm clouds, with the motto 'Egoli: Built on Gold, Powered by Diesel' scrolled beneath.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★☆☆ 3/5
"Visited Maboneng thinking it would be all rooftop bars and street art, which it was, but then my Uber driver took a 'shortcut' through Hillbrow and I saw my life flash before my eyes twice. The Cradle of Humankind was genuinely stunning and worth the trip alone. Also load shedding meant our hotel dinner was eaten by candlelight, which felt romantic until I remembered it was because the entire national grid had given up."— Gareth_from_Surrey_Survived
Property Listing
Welcome to this SPRAWLING highveld metropolis offering unparalleled indoor-outdoor living, thanks to the electric fence's excellent natural ventilation! Enjoy panoramic mine-dump views, a jacaranda-lined street that transforms into purple confetti every October, and a robust private security ecosystem that basically counts as a second municipality. Diesel generator not included but strongly, strongly recommended.
Twinned With
Mad Max Fury Road Wasteland — Both are sprawling, sun-scorched territories where private security convoys are simply a way of life.
Supporting Evidence
Johannesburg is built directly over one of the largest gold reefs ever discovered, and the mine dumps ringing the city are literally hills made of leftover gold-mining sand.