Kingston Upon Thames, England
Kingston Upon Traffic Jam
"Where the Ancient Coronation Stone Meets Gridlock"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing the ancient Coronation Stone rampant, flanked by two shopping trolleys crossed in the manner of jousting lances, beneath a river barge stuck at a swing bridge. The motto beneath reads 'Regnum Parking Meter' in recognition of centuries of royal heritage and decades of contested residents' permits.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★☆☆ 3/5
"Popped in to see the Coronation Stone where seven Anglo-Saxon kings were crowned, ended up spending most of my visit in the multi-storey car park trying to find an exit. The Bentalls Centre is lovely if you enjoy shopping alongside every other person in South West London on a Saturday. John Lewis, Rocco's, the riverside pubs - all genuinely nice, just bring snacks for the queue at the one-way system. Would return, mainly out of Stockholm syndrome."— BargeWatcher_Brenda, Surbiton
Property Listing
Nestled majestically on the banks of the Thames, this vibrant royal borough offers unparalleled riverside strolls, a bustling market town heritage, and world-class shopping just steps from your door! Yes, the one-way system has its own gravitational pull and yes, parking costs more than the flat itself, but you're basically living where kings were crowned, and isn't that worth circling the block forty times for?
Twinned With
Los Angeles — Both cities have convinced themselves their gridlocked ring roads are just part of the charm.
Supporting Evidence
Kingston's name literally means 'king's town' and seven Anglo-Saxon kings were crowned on the Coronation Stone still displayed outside the Guildhall - making it arguably more historically significant than most places that now can't get a car through the town centre in under twenty minutes.