London, England
The City of Perpetual Drizzle Delays
"Mind the gap between expectation and your delayed train"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing a red double-decker bus perpetually stuck behind roadworks, rampant, flanked by two umbrellas turned inside-out by wind. Above, a motto scroll reading 'We're Rebuilding The Escalator Again' in Latin, beneath a pigeon holding half a pastry.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★★☆ 4/5
"Spent four days here and saw the sun for approximately eleven minutes total. The Tube is magnificent until it isn't, which is most Tuesdays, and I paid £7.50 for a coffee that tasted like disappointment. That said, the history is genuinely staggering and I cried a little at the Tower of London, so I suppose it balances out. Would visit again but I'm bringing my own kettle and a small loan from the bank."— Gary Fenwick, Doncaster
Property Listing
Charming zone 3 studio flat, cosy at 19 square metres, offering unrivalled proximity to a Pret, a building site, and three different Tube lines that are all 'currently experiencing minor delays.' A rare opportunity to spend £2,400 a month for the privilege of hearing sirens as ambient noise.
Twinned With
Seattle — Both cities have built entire identities around apologising for their weather while secretly being quite proud of it.
Supporting Evidence
London has been officially 'regenerating' certain Tube stations for so long that some commuters have never known them any other way; Bank station's upgrade took over a decade.