Bromley, England
Bromsylvania Shopping Suburb
"Where South London Politely Forgets It's In London"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing a shopping trolley rampant against a field of one-way systems, surmounted by a crest depicting the Glades shopping centre glowing like a beacon of retail hope. Beneath, a scroll reads 'Nos Habitamus Inter Croydon Et Kent' (We Live Between Croydon and Kent, Which Is Something).
TripAdvisor Review
★★★☆☆ 3/5
"Popped into Bromley for the Glades shopping centre and left three hours later having bought nothing but a Gregg's sausage roll and a headache from the ring road. The Churchill Theatre is genuinely lovely and H.G. Wells was born here apparently, which is more interesting than anything I actually saw. Nice enough but it's basically Croydon's tidier cousin who does yoga."— BarryFromBeckenham_Actually
Property Listing
Charming zone 5 hub offering unrivalled access to the A21 and the spiritual satisfaction of being technically part of Greater London! This vibrant commuter paradise boasts the retail majesty of The Glades and a train service into Victoria that's only mildly soul-crushing. A commuter's dream with excellent bus links to absolutely everywhere except anywhere exciting.
Twinned With
Woking — Both are commuter towns forever explaining that a famous sci-fi writer was born there as if that settles the excitement question once and for all.
Supporting Evidence
H.G. Wells was born in Bromley in 1866, meaning the man who imagined time travel and alien invasion grew up somewhere so ordinary he presumably needed the escapism.