Oxford, England
Traffic Cone University
"Dreaming Spires, Screaming Buses"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing a punt stuck sideways under Magdalen Bridge, flanked by two dreaming spires shrouded in permanent scaffolding, above a Latin motto that roughly translates to 'Mind the Cyclists'. Crowned with a academic mortarboard perpetually rained upon.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★★☆ 4/5
"Beautiful colleges but I spent more time dodging cyclists on Cornmarket Street than actually looking at the architecture. Paid £9 for a coffee near the Bridge of Sighs and got tutted at by a man in a gown for taking photos. The Bodleian is stunning but good luck finding parking anywhere within three miles of the city centre."— Gary Pemberton, Swindon
Property Listing
Charming period residence moments from world-class academia, historic pubs, and a bus lane that will become your entire personality! Enjoy the vibrant atmosphere of tourists photographing your front door and the gentle, ceaseless hum of Oxford Bus Company diesel engines outside your bedroom window.
Twinned With
Cambridge — Two cities that have spent 800 years pretending the other one doesn't exist while secretly checking its league table position.
Supporting Evidence
Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire, yet the city's ring road still can't handle rush hour traffic from Botley to Headington.