Wimbledon, England
Two Weeks of Tennis, Fifty Weeks of Nothing
"Strawberries, cream, and residential streets you can't afford"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing a rain cloud hovering ominously over a grass court, flanked by two overpriced punnets of strawberries, with a windmill in the background that nobody can actually explain the significance of. Motto beneath reads 'Ubi Est Roof' — 'Where Is The Roof' — commemorating decades of delayed play.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★☆☆ 3/5
"Came for the tennis, stayed for the shock of discovering it's actually just a very normal London suburb with a common and some nice charity shops. The queue for Wimbledon (the tournament) is more famous than Wimbledon (the place), which tells you everything. Wimbledon Village is lovely if you enjoy paying six pounds for a coffee near a windmill museum nobody's heard of. Three stars because the common is genuinely nice for a walk when there's no ball involved."— Barry Fenwick, Croydon
Property Listing
Nestled in prestigious SW19, this charming property offers effortless access to the Common, the Village, and eleven and a half months of complete anonymity between Grand Slams! A rare opportunity to live somewhere the entire planet mispronounces 'strawberries and cream' near for a fortnight before forgetting you exist.
Twinned With
Augusta Georgia — Both towns spend fifty weeks a year being ordinary and two weeks pretending the rest of the world cares deeply about their sporting event.
Supporting Evidence
Wimbledon's tennis championships have been held since 1877, but the retractable roof over Centre Court wasn't added until 2009, meaning generations of spectators simply got rained on as a matter of tradition.