Steep Hills & Steeper Rents

Official Coat of Arms

A golden bridge emerging from perpetual fog, supported by two rampant Victorian houses painted in mandatory pastel hues. Above, a cable car climbs an impossibly vertical street while a coffee cup rampant displays the price '$12' in comic sans font.

TripAdvisor Review

★★★☆☆ 3/5

"Visited SF for a tech conference and paid $8 for a single croissant in the Mission. The cable cars are charming until you realize they're faster than your Uber stuck in traffic on the Bay Bridge. Lombard Street is indeed windy, much like the explanation my Airbnb host gave for why there's no parking and the shower only has cold water."

Property Listing

Charming 400 sq ft 'cozy studio' in vibrant SOMA district features authentic industrial character (exposed pipes), natural ventilation system (broken window), and exclusive street-level entertainment (sirens 24/7). Just $4,500/month - a steal in today's market! Close to everything because the city is only 7x7 miles.

Twinned With

Monaco — Both places where only tech billionaires and people who bought property in 1975 can afford to live.

Supporting Evidence

San Francisco has more millionaires per capita than any other city, yet also has public restrooms that cost $1.7 million each to install.