Venice, Italy
The Sinking Selfie Stick Capital
"Come For The Canals, Stay Because Your Water Taxi Is Delayed"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield depicting a winged lion standing knee-deep in floodwater, clutching a soggy vaporetto ticket, beneath a crest of scaffolding perpetually 'restoring' a facade that hasn't changed since the 1970s. The motto beneath reads, in Latin, 'We Are Sinking, But Make It Fashion.'
TripAdvisor Review
★★★★☆ 4/5
"Absolutely magical until you realise you've paid 9 euros for an espresso while standing in ankle-deep acqua alta water in St Mark's Square. The Bridge of Sighs is beautiful but the actual sighing comes from tourists realising there's a queue two hours long for everything. Got lost in the same three alleys near the Rialto for forty-five minutes because every street looks like a postcard of the last street. Still gave it four stars because it's genuinely impossible to be truly angry somewhere this pretty."— Derek Fanshawe, Solihull
Property Listing
Charming ground-floor canal-view apartment with 'rustic' damp features and complimentary flooding every autumn — think of it as free bonus square footage of water! Walking distance to literally everything, because there are no cars, ever, anywhere, which totally isn't a nightmare when moving furniture.
Twinned With
Disneyland Paris — Both are meticulously preserved attractions where you queue an hour for a five-minute ride and pay eight euros for a bottle of water.
Supporting Evidence
Venice is built on more than 100 small islands and is slowly sinking at a rate of about 1-2mm per year, while simultaneously hosting over 20 million tourists annually who all somehow end up on the same bridge at the same time.