Whitehaven, England
Georgian Harbour, Nuclear Backyard
"Beautifully restored, mildly radioactive neighbours"
Official Coat of Arms
A shield bearing a Georgian sash window rattling in a coastal gale, flanked by two candlestick chimneys, above a wavy blue line representing the harbour that everyone photographs and nobody swims in. Motto beneath reads, in Latin, 'We Are Not Actually Glowing'.
TripAdvisor Review
★★★☆☆ 3/5
"The harbour and Georgian architecture are genuinely lovely, I'll give it that - the candlestick chimneys and marina are a proper surprise if you only know Whitehaven from Sellafield jokes. That said, the walk into town from the station feels like a wind tunnel designed by someone who hates umbrellas, and half the shops on the main street seemed to be permanently 'back in five minutes'. Worth a day trip for the harbour alone, just don't expect much after 6pm."— BarryFromBarrow, Cumbria
Property Listing
Charming Georgian harbourside town offering exceptional value, generous sea views, and a refreshingly bracing microclimate that will keep your washing line perpetually optimistic. Ten minutes from the beach, twenty from Sellafield, and a lifetime from London prices - what's not to love?
Twinned With
Chernobyl — Both towns know exactly what people say about them before they even mention where they're from.
Supporting Evidence
Whitehaven was once the third busiest port in Britain, shipping more transatlantic tonnage than Liverpool in the 18th century, largely thanks to coal and the transatlantic slave trade, a history the town now confronts through its harbour museum.