Castle-Adjacent Parking Nightmare

Official Coat of Arms

Upon a field of traffic cone orange, a rampant parking meter clutches a fistful of pound coins, flanked by two tour buses statant. Above, a crown eternal floats serenely, oblivious to the gridlock below, whilst beneath flows a ribbon bearing the motto 'Residents Access Only Between 11PM and 6AM'.

TripAdvisor Review

★★★☆☆ 3/5

"Lovely visit to see the castle, but finding parking cost more than my mortgage payment. The High Street is charming if you enjoy being swept along by rivers of tour groups clutching Union Jack umbrellas. At least the castle guards didn't blink when I waved, so that's something."

Property Listing

Prestigious royal borough location with unparalleled heritage views and world-class security infrastructure. Enjoy the convenience of international dining options (admittedly mostly themed around afternoon tea) and excellent transport links, though parking may require advance strategic planning and a small personal loan.

Twinned With

Versailles — Both places where locals have learned to shop elsewhere because their high street belongs to tourists.

Supporting Evidence

Windsor has more CCTV cameras per square mile than most city centers, largely because when you're home to the world's oldest occupied castle, everyone wants to take a selfie with everything.